Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
i used baking grease as lip gloss
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
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