They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
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