New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
Randomize
