did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
This has been your unwelcomed wake-up call, brought to you by exes united. Have a good day, to opt out please type "STOP", to continue but act as though they do not exist please enter "DON'T CARE" for random daily wake up texts by exes united please press "PSYCHO!"
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
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