Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
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