I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
Randomize
