I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
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