I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
Randomize
