he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
There's always time for handjobs
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
Randomize