Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
Ran into a tinder match at the bar last night. We spotted each other and started making out without speaking any words to each other. Fuck yea technology!
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
Randomize
