youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat"
and this is why you're my favorite gay friend.
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
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