I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
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