What a fucking waste of an outfit
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
Randomize
