how can u be prego again
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
Randomize
