she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
Hey remember that thing i said about never apologizing for being a hot mess? Well that was before you found me drunk in the hallway with no pants.
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
Randomize
