so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
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