She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
Randomize
