so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
I seriously don't understand how you keep getting laid.
Because I'm like the spider of false hope. I spin elaborate tales and snare them in my web of utter disappointment. They soon realize their mistake, but by then it's too late.
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
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