Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
Randomize
