YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
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