i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
I still have a little drunk in my system
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
Randomize
