ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
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