hell yes lets make some ravioli
i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
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