where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
I love having hate sex.
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
Randomize
