i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
My boob is missing a layer of skin
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
Randomize
