My friends, they love my intelligence
I'm drive I can fine osifer
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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