I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
Randomize
