so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
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