So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
The feeling are messing with the penis
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
If you think hives from an allergic reaction to lube is funny, remind me to tell you the story about how I got a black eye from masturbating.
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
Randomize
