Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
it's like iHOP with fire
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
This toilet bowl is my home.
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