playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
Randomize
