It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
Randomize
