Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
Randomize
