My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize
