I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
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