Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
Randomize
