we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
Randomize
