So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
meet me or not, i'm out of control
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
Randomize
