She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
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