We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
I woke up naked in my living room and my mom was next to me like we need to talk
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
He felt like a one man threesome
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
Randomize
