My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
