lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
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