The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
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