During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
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