great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
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