I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
Randomize
