dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
I wish there were birth control emojis
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Randomize
