i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
Randomize
