my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
it was like eating out sand paper
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
Randomize
