Eric just called. Says he's trapped in a cul de sac because the road disappeared. Wants me to tell him what street has the bushes that whisper sweet nothings into you ear and the wobbling purple pokemon. Oh, and a "bigger and better" penis is growing out of his belly button. He took shrooms by the way.
She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
I need a burrito and a hug.
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
as a side note pls kill me
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
