I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
Randomize
